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Update from 2009 Goals

December 26, 2009

Steve preaching at Easter 2009

Last December I listed some goals that I had for this year, so I thought it would be good to check back and see how I did at them.  Goals are listed and my comments on how I did are in RED:

- Listen to more Bill Mallonee/Vigilantes of Love – GRADE: A – Definitely did well with this one and was blessed for it.  Actually brought Bill and Muriah to our church for a concert in October.  Mainly I listed to his Christmas album and his solo stuff more, but I feel good about this one.
- Write more - GRADE: A -Again, I did well with this one.  The blog allowed me to write more, but also I journaled more, wrote some songs, as well as wrote academic stuff.  I’ m really happy with this one.
- Find a pastoral mentor – GRADE: A – Home run on this one.  I have been meeting with a pastoral mentor since April and its going very well.  Its hard, but really worth it.
- Buy some albums off RS top 100 albums of all time – Fail: I didn’t buy any :(
- Buy some historical documentaries – C:  I didn’t buy any, but I did check several out and watch them, mostly civil war stuff
- Buy some live performances – D:  I only bought Allman Bros. Live at the Fillmore East, but my wife just got me the new REM @ Olympia, that’s good
- Play more guitar – Honestly I don’t know this grade, I feel good about how much I’ve played, but always want to play more!  How about a C
- Ride bikes with my kids – INCOMPLTE: My kids did not ride bikes this year, but I feel like we did more fun stuff together!
- Follow up with friends – GRADE: B – My use of Twitter and Facebook helped me with this.  The reason for a B is that I feel like my breadth was great, but my depth was not.
- Study my German and Latin more – GRADE: F – Didn’t happen :(

OVERALL GRADE = (27/8) = 3.3 or C+ .  This is pretty fair.  Look for my 2010 goals soon!

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Best Books of ‘09

December 16, 2009

For all of you bibliophiles out there, HERE is a link to the best books of ‘09 from Tom Ashbrook’s On Point show.  Really a good listen – take notes :)

(Photo: Flickr/eflon)

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Chapter #3 of A Beautiful God – God is Trustworthy

November 25, 2009

We do good things – God is good to us

We do bad things – God does bad things to us.

Chapter sets out to debunk the false narrative that God sets out to do bad or hurtful things to us.  Quite simply, Smith says that “the God Jesus reveals would never do anything to harm us.  He has no malice or evil intentions.  He is completely good.  And the fact that God is also all-knowing and all-powerful makes His goodness even better (56).

While bad or hurtful things may happen to us, they are not caused nor do they have their genesis in God.  As usual in the book, Smith points us to the narrative of Jesus about God.  Jesus refers to God as “abba,” translated as dear father: a term of intimacy.  God is not far away and distant, He is close to us and invested in every part of our lives.  This intimacy is evidence of God’s goodness.

A more important signal of God’s goodness is the person and work of Jesus.  In Jesus we have what God wants us to know about Himself, because He is God Himself.  In Jesus we see God’s intention towards us; to love and not to harm.  The God that Jesus reveals is one that is invested in His creation

What do we do with pain and harm then?  We do as Jesus did: pray for it to pass and if it does not, endure it knowing that through God we will overcome it – in life or death.  The key for Smith is not focusing on the cup, but the surrounding blessings.

COMMENT:  This theme of God’s punishment is  prevalent throughout Christianity, especially in my tradition – evangelicalism.  Part of it is enlightenment’s impact on knowledge and part of it is just bad theology and Bible reading.  While helpful, I think  Smith’s writing would benefit from some more theological development around the ideas of God’s “closeness” to us and how that impacts or guarantees his “goodness” towards us.  I agree with his conclusion, but perhaps get there from a different angle.  The reader must understand the theological basis of God’s “closeness” to us.

Great chapter and very helpful!

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Chapter Two of Beautiful God – “God is Good”

November 4, 2009

Smith challenges a very deep seated narrative in Christian circles – that God is angry and that this anger is the defining characteristic of His relationship with us.  Referring to Exodus 20:5, Smith explains how this is a part of the OT narrative about God, a part of other primitive religions, and also a part of modern Christian understandings (he mentions that several prominent pastors pointed to 9/11 as God’s punishment for sin).  This “anger narrative” informs humanity about who God is and His intentions towards them.  The love and beauty of God is subsumed under a wave of fear/guilt/worry of pleasing a somewhat seemingly capricious God.

As an alternative, Smith offers another narrative about God, Jesus’ narrative of His own Father.  Jesus’ had an opportunity to affirm the OT narrative of the angry and punishing God in Exodus 20, but consciously doesn’t affirm it, but give a new picture – one of love and care.  In John 9, the disciples ask who sinned, and therefore responsible, for the blindness in this man.  Jesus does two interesting things here:  first, He doesn’t blame anyone or hold the man accountable for his blindness.  Second, He heals him; He undercuts the debate or answers the debate with an action powered by His Father – He heals him.

Smith says that the discussion needs to be reframed.  Now that Jesus abolished the notion of “we get what we deserve” from an angry God, now we can begin to understand true justice and the true nature of God and His intention towards us.  The truth of the matter is this – good and bad happen to both good and bad people, there is no rhyme or reason and we are not called to look for one.  This is where faith enters.  Good or bad, it is God’s love for us contained and evidenced in Christ (and His narrative of His father) that helps us to understand God’s faithfulness to us, despite trials.

That being said, there is good that good people can see.  Quoting Augustine, Smith says that we should focus our attention on”the good things peculiar to the good” (46).  These are blessings that only those who strive to good can see and experience, “that is the only justice, in a sense, we can count on” (47).  This would include watching the smiles on faces of children and other who we feed and help, the joy of seeing someone hear about God’s love for them, etc.  Only those who love and invest in others get those blessings.

For Smith, the bottom line is this:  in this life you will have troubles; but these troubles should not be seen as a reflection of God’s love or lack thereof for you.  We have to believe the narrative of Jesus that declares God love for us.

_____________________

Chapter is a helpful corrective for much Christian thought out there.  A couple of questions arise out of Smith’s treatment of the text and his theology:

1. Smith doesn’t give a good answer, explanation, or helpful way of integrating the OT and Jesus’ new narrative.  The reader assumes that this passage from exodus 20 falls in the “I haven’t come to abolish, but fulfill” phrase from Jesus.  How should one understand God’s words in Exodus 20 now in light of Jesus’ new narrative?

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Chapter One of Beautiful God – “What are You Seeking?”

November 2, 2009

Most Christians would say they want to be more spiritual, be more like God, be more like Jesus, etc or some permutation or combination of the aforementioned (myself included).  Like New Years resolutions (as the author points out), most attempts at become more “spiritual” fall short pretty abruptly.  This leaves the individual disappointed (even depressed) and wondering what happened.  The answer to the constant failure usually is, “I didn’t try enough” or “I didn’t have the willpower to do it.”  The vicious circle begins and continues ad nauseam.

James Bryan Smith offers an alternative path.  He debunks the myth of “trying hard enough” or what he calls the “narrative of willpower.” Willpower is not the problem, he says, because willpower will never be enough.  Becoming more like Jesus is not possible with our own power.  In order to become more like Jesus we need to adopt a new narrative, that is the narrative of Jesus.  This narrative teaches us that we don’t change by willpower, but by indirection.  Jesus teaches by story and these stories inform how we understand who God; by focusing on understanding who God is, we begin to change, “We change not by mustering up willpower but by changing the way we thing, which we will also involved changing our actions and our social environment.  We change indirectly.  We do what we can in order to enable us to do what we can’t do directly.  We change by a process of indirection” (23).

Change involves more than the desire to change. Smith says four things need to change direction for our spiritual discipline to change indirectly:

1. Our narratives (the stories in our mind about ourselves and about God).  This narratives need to come from the truths that Jesus told about Himself, God, the Kingdom, and us.

2. Our practices (our habits that define us).  These are practices, with no specific aims other than to train and transform our hearts.  They are not righteousness, but they are wisdom.  They are about becoming; they are about training ourselves to believe in Jesus’ narratives and ingrain those into our understanding of ourselves.

3. Our community (we have to surround ourselves with people who desire the same thing).  our spiritual development may be a personal pursuit, but it is not meant to be individualized. Spiritual formation happens most profoundly in the context of a group – seeing others doing it as well. This communal focus helps us encourage, develop, and hone  #2.

4. Our leader (allow the Holy Spirit to lead and inform the above).  This is not humanly possible, but only possible through the Holy Spirit.

The goal of this, for Smith, is simply (but not easily) transformation.  As our narratives change, we being to think and act differently.  These thoughts and actions spill over into the lives of those around us . . . “as we engage in soul-training exercises, especially in the context of community, our confidence that God is at work in and among us increases.  This creates an inward change that manifests itself in outward behavior” (31).

___________________

So I like what I see in chapter one.  Smith rightly (and helpfully) points out that will is not enough – you have to change other things (context, thinking, etc) to reach your spiritual growth goals.  Most books don’t talk about this, or when they do they gloss over it and talk about the characteristics – the end goal – of spiritual formation.  The problem isn’t that people don’t know what their life should look like, its that they fail over and over at getting there.  Smith’s first chapter is very helpful with this.  We’ll see where the rest of the book goes!

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New Book – Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith

November 2, 2009

I belong to the IVP book club and get books shipped to me each month.  This month there was a great book shipped to me by James Bryan Smith entitled “The Good and Beautiful God” (2009).  Instead of making up what I think the book is about, I’ll let Mr. Smith state what the focus of the book is,

“The book is titled ‘The Good and Beautiful God’ because the focus is on the character of God and how we move into a life of intimacy with God . . . (14).

The book is the first in a three part series called the “Apprentice Series” which helps  the reader move from an intimate relationship with God and the implications of this for one’s character and finally one’s communal world.

I’m going to reading, summarizing, and commenting on each chapter.  If you’re reading the book or one like it, please comment and let me know!

 

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A bunch of books I’m reading . . .

October 22, 2009

Now that the fall is in full swing, I’m buried in a lot of new books I’m reading along with the research for my dissertation.  Here’s a list and I’m hoping to add some commentary later for a few of them:

1. Commentary on Jonah – Brazos Press

2. REVEAL – Willow Creek Resources

3. Souls of Black Folk – Penguin edition (I’ve made sig. comments previous to this, just do a search)

4. UnChristian – Baker Books

5. The Challenge of Christ – NT Wright, Baker Books (been reading this forever)

Let me know what you are reading!

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Could Not Sleep

September 13, 2009

Could not sleep last night – head was killing me due to allergies. Got up and read Joshua 3 and 10. Earlier in he day at the elders retreat we read Philippians together. Good day for Bible reading. iPhone is useful in the middle of the night for his :) . Lookig forward to Erin coming back – fun to have someone else here :) . Really looking forward to biking with Rick on wed- 6 hours – that will be a record for us and a good training ride for Rick in prep for full ironman. Since I have no races left, this is as good as it gets for me. This will be good for building my confidence for future races.

Seriousness of the church as body of Christ.

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First Triathlon – Powow Sprint

September 12, 2009

I believe it was Saturday, July 12th (or a Saturday thereabouts).  The start to the race was 8am, so rick and I planned on getting there around 6:30am.  Parking is always an issue at these things, so we wanted to get there early enough that we didn’t have to walk a long way.  We got a pretty close spot, about .25m away.  We were nervous, no doubt . . . and immediately I was intimidated.  People were pulling up with these unbelievable bikes, equipment, etc.  Uh oh – this wasn’t training anymore . . . I felt like we were over our heads.

Rick and I loaded up our stuff and starting walking to the start and the transition area.  To give you some perspective.  I was riding a 1997 Cannondale mountain bike with road flats.  Rick was riding some kind of comfort bike – can’t remember the brand – but yes, a comfort bike.  As we racked our bike around people who clearly knew things we didn’t, I’ll just speak for myself, I was kind of embarrassed and felt out of place.  Whatever, I thought, the goal is to finish my first race, not be a hero.  No matter what I’m riding I’ll be crossing the same finish line as everyone else with their $5,000 bike.  We got our bikes racked, our transition stuff set up (I had no idea what to do, so I just copied what people around me were doing – you learn quick).

Bikes racked – check.  Transition setup – check.  Rick and I found each other and did the second most important thing of the day – got in line to go to the bathroom.  Once we went we did the most important thing of the day – we prayed (this became something we have done before every race – something that is great and that I look forward to).  There were a lot of people in wetsuits along with our issued swim caps (which, BTW, I had never worn before).  We were wearing speedo swimsuits – no wetsuits.  Everyone seemed to know things that we didn’t and be more comfortable than we were.  Ugh – this was uncomfortable, but this wouldn’t last long.

They break down the swim in waves based on age/gender, so Rick and I couldn’t go together.  I can’t remember who went first, but we both took our turns.  When the wave before you goes, then you wade into the water and wait your turn.  Then the nerves start.  1 minute.  30 seconds. 10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . . 7 ,etc.  Then you go.  I stayed on the outside and behind everyone else.  I didn’t know what to expect and I was a poor swimmer, so I wanted to stay safe.  It was only .5m but it felt like an eternity.  This swim was a counter-clockwise swim in a triangle.  I tried the best I could to get into a rhythm – breathing bilateriall every 3 breaths and spotting every about 20 strokes (spotting is making sure you’re on course and heading the right direction – good spotting can cut down on wasted effort and time).  I would give myself a D+ – my best plan to do this fell apart a lot. I got worked up, heart racing, etc, the whole time.  It was my first race, so it was understandable.

Some how, some way, after what seemed to be an eternity, the swim was over . . . finally.  I got out of the water and was absolutely disoriented, out of breath, and a bit dizzy.  That being said, I made it out of the water and into the transition area to grab my bike.  Gloves, helmet, etc all in check and I was off.

Once I got on the bike, I really felt happy and good. I was “home” – I love the bike and I’m pretty good at it.  I was off baby and I felt great.  I was actually passing people – yeah!  But I was also getting passed – motivation to go faster!  It was awesome.  Not a lot to say about the bike except that I really had a good time on it.

Pulled the bike into the transition area to start the run.  Racked the bike, put on my shoes and hat and took off.  Well – actually, take off is a  bit of an overstatement, or so I thought.  Straightaway I felt like I was running in cement – seemed like I could not pick up my feet at all.  It was like running in oatmeal.  Generally this would not be a worry, but I have to confess I had a time goal – sort of.  Rick and I agreed that to finish in 2hr or less it would be good.  Our stretch goal was 1:45 – that would be great.  When I got off the bike my time was looking good, I don’t remember what it was (later I will be adding a page where I will list all my race times, race by race) but I remember thinking – “hey man, 1:45 is in range – you gotta hustle.”  So needless to say that when I felt like I was running in oatmeal I was worried that I wouldn’t reach that goal.

The run was really, really hard.  I really can’t underestimate how hard it was to brick for the first time ever (mistakenly I never bricked before the race that I remember).  Even though it was only a 5k, it felt soooo long.  I had ran the course the week before so I knew where the turnaround was.  I never looked for something so hard in my life.  Where was it?  Ugh – I looked at my watch.  I was doing about 9:15/mile.  Not bad, but I really wanted to move faster.  I was really starting to worry about my time – something I promised I would not do.  Whatever – I’m a competitor :) .  FINALLY – the turn around!  I looked down and realized I only needed to run 10min/mile to finish under 1:45.  NICE . . .Finally my legs came back to me . . . I saw Rick and we high-fived . . . sweet!  We both made it out of the water and the bike, we were home free for the finish.

The finish was uphill . . .  flippin’ brutal.  Good news was that I saw my wife and two daughters, Rick’s wife Julie, and some great friends from church.  I was tired tired tired, but I picked it up towards the finish and crossed the line strong.  Good news – I finished in 1:45:11 – I’ll take it!

Rick finished a few minutes later and we celebrated!  There was food there – I think I ate 7 hot dogs.  I don’t think they ever tasted so good :) .  We got a t-shirt and medal out of the deal – I gave the medal to Hannah to wear :) .

Our first tri was completed – 7mos worth of training and we did it. Wow – we learned a lot.

That’s it . . . we caught the bug . . . next race in August :)

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My First Steps of Preparation

September 1, 2009

So I started my prep on February 15th.  I went out and bought the shoes, a couple of new pairs of shorts, a new pair of goggles and jumped in full force.  The problem was that I was horribly out of shape.  I had biking ability as I’ve been mountain biking since 1997 pretty consistently and at a fairly high level.  Run and swim – no so much.

Our family is blessed with a membership to Cedardale.  The great part of Cedardale is that it is more than a gym.  It has EVERYTHING – aquatic center (indoors) with a hot tub and a billion lap lans, a smaller pool for kids, etc.  They also have an indoor track; it is small (10 laps for a mile), but hey, it still works.  Plus it has all kinds of cardio machines along with a ton of free weights and weight machines.  It’s really ideal.  That being said, its a great place to do all aspects of training.

Yeah – well that’s good cause I was in shape, BAD SHAPE.

My first swim?  10 laps in the smaller pool.  In this pool 44 laps is a mile :)  My first run?  1.2miles.  Luckily my bike legs were  OK.  Bottom line was that I was a physical mess.  I didn’t have the “legs” or the “lungs” to make it happen.  In short . . . I wasn’t in triathlon shape :)

Well – Rick and I started slow.  For the swim, .25 swim was the first goal, once I got that .5m and so on until after 4mos (by May) I could crank out .5m regularly in about 18:30.  My PR (personal record) for .50m was 17:30 in the pool (no wetsuit – this will be significant later).  For the run, the only goal was to just be able to do the 3.2m without dying.  I made 3.2m my minimum length when I went out.  At first it was the gym until about 4/1 when I started to run outside.  I used Google Maps to map out a couple of courses (I still use it today to map out much longer runs . . . it works awesome.  I have like 20 bike and run courses mapped on there). For the bike at first we used the espresso bikes that Cedardale had.  they are pretty cool bikes that have a bunch of courses from 1.1m each to a 28m hard course.  The goal?  Work our way up to a whopping 14m, about the distance of the sprint triathlon.

To follow our progress we tracked it on .xls and put it up as a shared document on Google Docs so Rick and I could updated it and see each other’s progress.  That part was SUPER helpful and a lot of fun.

Next step?  Build . . . build . . . build.  Build up our mileage.  Once it got nice outside we ran and biked outside, while still swimming in the pool.  By the time July came around I upped by 3.2m minimum run to 5m – I was getting better legs and lungs – great progress.  On the bike I was riding my mountain bike with road flats.  That first summer I never biked more than 16m.  The swim I  worked up to a .75m regular swim in the pool with a stretch distance (maybe 3 times a month) of a mile.

One note – I did little or no “bricking” that I can remember.  What is a brick or bricking? That is when you do disciplines back to back.  I pretty much stuck to doing one discipline and building up my strength.  For me, bricking didn’t happen unless I was actually racing or until the next winter.  At this distance it really didn’t matter, but later it became a KEY discipline.

During this time I consistently lost weight  - pretty much the weight I am now +/- about 3lbs.  I went from 212 to anywhere from 195-197.  So lost about 17lbs – that’s pretty good in my book.  I ate better, but I didn’t starve myself.  I ate less at each meal, stopped eating stuff that was just plain bad (like a whole bag of Kettle corn during a RS game).  I didn’t compromise on coffee drinks or beer – no skim milk or lite beer, that’s horrible :) .

Bottom line is this – I went from being lazy and a bit over weight to swimming .75m, running 5m, and biking 16m at least once a week.  That was a big deal for me.  I liked working out, I felt good, and I was getting better!  My legs and lungs were really developing.  I also had NO INJURING to speak of – that was a huge blessing :) .  Rick was doing the same thing and we were really pushing each other.

The side benefit of this was my relationship with Rick.  We were working out, sharing life, struggling, surviving, achieving, talking about faith – all together.  We talked about our achievements, competed, supported, and annoyed each other the whole time.  Many times we didn’t want to see each other at 6:30am at the gym, but we did. We both have families, so we shared  in the trials and tribulations of family.  More than once we dreamt out loud of what the races would be like, feel like, look like; how would we do?  Will we be ready?  It was and still is great to have someone in your life to do that with that isn’t your spouse :)

The whole preparation experience was just awesome.

The first race was in July 12th.  We were ready.  We went from overweight, uncompetitive, unfocused, kind of bad eaters, to being much more focused, in pretty good shape, and REALLY excited about the race.

Oh wait, one other note: its important for people to know that there was VERY LITTLE financial investment.  Other then my gym memberhip I only spend $65 on a pair of shoes and maybe $20 on a couple of pairs of shorts – that’s it . . . and the registration for the races.  No new bike, wet suit, or special fuel for these races – those would come later.

My next post will address the first race, the feelings, the finish, and what I learned.